Last note

These past few of months things have been catching up with me, my admittance to grad school, work, family, girlfriend. Never have I had a mix all at once, it’s definitely something I did not handle well. I’ve lost 2 out of the 4 and I think it’s a wake up call.

1) First of all, college..you’ve passed by so quickly, I messed up so bad in Freshman Sophomore year that this seems so hard to pick up my GPA for the end. Now graduate school admittance comes and I slack, I don’t know if it’s my uncertainty that I want to pursue this and possibly end up failing or my laziness that just didn’t want to deal with it. Regardless of it now, I’ll go for the second degree one way or another. I’ll be back for it.

2) Second..Uniqlo, you’ve been so kind to hire me, and allow me to meet the people I work with today, even promote me within 3 months, but you don’t know what it’s like being asked to write a witness form to fire my close friend because of one bad day. I gotta watch the people that made this job seem so much easier, leave or get separated. That’s the ups and downs of work, I understand that. I’ll still be here.

3) Third..Family..Shit is never easy with you all. Arguing and causing us to separate when we’re usually together, it happens all the time, but I’m done telling you all about it, I’ve said it too many times and trying to be the middle man just doesn’t work, you’re all too caught up with yourselves. Grandma..I love you, I’m scared that the day will come when you’re no longer here with me, I don’t know what I’d do. I’ve grown up and I’ve always came to you when I’m crying, angry, sad, happy. To think that you’ll be gone scares me a lot, that’s why I press you to eat medicine everyday, sleep early, be happy, that’s why I’m here sleeping at your apartment everyday. You’ve beaten the cancer because you’re still here, and you’ll continue to beat it. When the day comes that you’re no longer here with me, I don’t want your apartment to be split in half to my mom and my uncle, I’m saving up to buy the half from my uncle and keeping this apartment for you. I love you. I’ll always be here.

4) Lastly..my love..I have so much to say for you, much more than you want to hear, but I’ll make this as brief as possible. As much as you don’t respect me or that you hate me, I still need to say what I’ve been hurting to say. I love you so much, I’m sorry I couldn’t fulfill what was expected of me, I regret the things I say when I’m upset like you’ll never know. For you, I’d go back and live every moment I had with you and change the way I acted because in the end I wish I’ve done things differently. As much of a jerk I was, I still really cared about you, I just didn’t appreciate you as much as I should have. Things didn’t work out because I just didn’t let it work, my flaws come to play and it just really ruined things. I don’t know what we’ll be, I’m scared to think that I’ve completely pushed you away, but I can’t undo what’s been said so I just need to accept it. I don’t want this to seem like an apologetic letter that I’m using to keep you here with me, I did this to myself, you’re set on this, I won’t try to change what you want anymore. Wanted the 27th to be special, guess it’s a not so special 27th. Just keep me close when you need someone to talk to, you’ve always been my best friend and my lover. I’ll try not to ruin what’s left of us. I’m not going anywhere.